Just sometimes...

For a minute or two I like to close my eyes and take a deep breath and reflect about life, the things I've done that have touched me in a way that I can't really explain. I like to think that I have ability to make everyone happy, even though that is one of the biggest lies I keep in my head, because I find myself trying so hard and failing in every attempt of gaining a smile… because it doesn't last for long.

If I could do things differently I would change that part of me of pleasing those whom will never do the same… but I can't, or maybe I just don't want to, I like to be a giver instead of receive, why is that? why is it that I can't just let people down? why do I even bother to bring it up? maybe and just maybe I can't actually talk about it with no one, unless that person feels the same way, a part of me wants to let go… and also want a second chance.

Dermatologist appt coming soon

I've been asking myself why am I spoiling myself so much since my last facial at the spa... But even though I've been trying to take care of my skin, hair, nails etc. I just can't get the results I want.

I look at the mirror, and see a lot of these white heads that I've never had in my face before, I used to have this beautiful soft skin and now, I'm really concerned if this is because I am kinda "stressed". I don't feel that worried though, and the only thing that bugs me right now is that I can't get rid of those white heads!! ugh!

So far I've tried products as Neutrogena facial wash, Clean&Clear astringent, Nivea tonic, Ponds hydrating lotion, St. Ives apricot scrub, Dove soap bar... I even switched all my makeup to a bit more expensive brands.

Nothing... nothing is happening, I actually noticed more white heads omg!

It is truly time to go to the dermatologist, because I'm DONE with all this products! and if I ever find the right answer of what really works, I'll write a post of it.

Small tweaks

I'm feeling really hungry right now, I think it should be a good time to go and have breakfast... oh man I'm starving! But I just had to fix a few things in my blog, I didn't like the background that much, and the photo-stream at the bottom is not working properly, plus I found a few new gadgets to add, although I might have to re-think if I'm going with them or not. All I know is that I'm done tweaking a little this thing, and so ready to start an awesome day with my camera!

Can't wait to just record 'whatever the day brings'... just not in my pj's, so I should take a shower also lawl xD

I'll see ya around.

Today I found myself with so much to say, so much to feel, so much to do! (I really need to let this one out of my system, seriously).

Gosh! I have tons of homework and look at me, writing in my blog a new entry as cool as ice can be haha.. Well, today I just wanted to say that even though I'm dead for you, I'm still alive, you live around 3 miles from my place and we're still sharing the same sky.

I wished things were different and you were happy, somehow, with somebody else because you deserve it, stop following my shadow, the old me is gone, completely gone forever. I pray for you, yeah, I still do.

The world keeps going round and round but when everything stops and I think about you, I would like to say the only thing that comes to my heart: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry to try to change you, to made you think we we're meant to be and that back then when I was younger (young and dumb) I thought it was love what I felt for you, and I made you love me like anything in this world.

Now, I understand why God decided to take me far away, to become the person that I am now, for me everything is new, but for you everything remains the same, and I just wish to see you smiling like you used to when I met the real you.

Goodbye for now, just remember, before I go, I want you to keep in your heart this words: If you want the world to smile back at you, please be the one who smiles first! love will come to you again if you believe it so.

Like Avril Lavigne said: Goodbye Lullaby.

At last another entry (:

A lot has been going on lately, so, here are some updates for people who follows me, loves me, hates me, hahaha, just kidding!

I want to apologize in first place because it's really been a while since the last entry, seems like I've been partying since January ah? nah, I wished! but seriously I've been busy, how come? well, I got hired this February in an awesome place, I work as a virtual assistant, and as far as I know, it truly is way better than a call center, but challenging too, personally, I love it.

In other things, I've been working on my personal projects as a designer, and it is very interesting to keep on learning so much about other types of software and programs such as Microsoft Quickbooks even (b/c this one has nothing to do with designing lol).

I miss having free time so much, I don't recall the last time I went to the movies or out on a date, it might had happened on Valentine's day and if that's the case, that was so long ago... I need to catch a break.

But for now I gotta go sew something up, in fact the skirt I'm wearing today, because it got a small hole on the side somehow.

My 24th Birthday :)

Review

On 2010 I would have made the biggest mistake of my entire life, well, actually many. But for now happiness is fulfilling all aspects in my very personal decisions. I don't know for sure where am I going with this entry but it was really time to post something about the things that I didn't do that allowed me to grow and understand beyond what my eyes can see.

First of all, I'm glad God lead me to El Salvador to realize that it was time to finish my degree, I have one more year left of my career of Marketing and Publicity, and after this last semester I felt that it was the right thing to do.

On the other hand I've gone through many changes and stages during 2010, when I came back to El Salvador, I never thought that I was gonna catch up with the fact that life goes on, and my 'friends' from school weren't there for me anymore. So I was down to zero in my social life. I was even heartbroken still, but for now I'm done bring up that topic. Just for the record, I do not feel ready to be in a relationship still, and no more comments about it.

I learned a lot about finances and jerks during 2010 for sure. My prayer is that may God's justice will be made on them, because this people have no fear to God, oh well, let me tell you this, nobody wants to go over my heavenly father, but is too late for those who took advantage of me, and yes pin1531 you'll pay but not by my hands, and you can call it Karma if you want, I call it God's Justice.

I've learned so much the hard way that all I can say is that I'm very thankful I'm done, I made it so far, and it's been good. Everything turned out not as I expected, but gladly for the best.

Is way funny how God speaks to me throughout other people, and every time I've made up my mind He comes with a whole new plan for me, fresh ideas, love it-love it!, and I'm excited to begin the research of scholarships in Europe, thanks to my new french friend who highly recommends them. I'm not staying in El Salvador for long, but this time I understand that is not because I'm making a fuzz about it, but because is on God's plans to take me some other place and glorify His name with my life.

So, whether it seems good, bad or blurry, let's rock out this 2011 and give our best!