Mother´s Day´s Lesson

One more time, I messed up and I realized that everyday I learn something new, unfortunately this time I had to rediscover something that I had lost, and came back to teach me a huge lesson.

I am spending one whole month with my grandma and at my aunt´s house. I´m home the entire week, but on weekends I´m hanging out with my cousins, so I´m just not around.

My purpose of staying here is to spend more time with my grandma, because she is sick, she has Alzheimer and as everybody knows she forgets most of the things, she loses things, and somehow she is becoming grumpy and she dislikes and complains about everything, for example the weather, is either too hot or too cold, it can never be good enough.

So, having all that in mind I thought (and made the mistake of thinking): is just not worthy to get anything to anybody, since is too complicated to please all of the moms that I´ll see in the family reunion. (I was so wrong!)

I tried to excused myself saying that we are all materialist, and we are only happy when we get material things. And that the worst part of giving is to know that what you gave wasn´t appreciated.

Based on all that I decided... to not to get anything to anybody.

Right now I´m so sorry that I have been so selfish, because it doesn´t matter what you give, you shouldn´t expect anything back. Although YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GIVE SOMETHING, no matter what.

I made a handmade card for my aunt, but my cousin bought one. I poured my heart out in the words inside the card, but the card she kept in her heart is the beautiful words that came for the right card that my cousin picked at the store.

Once again... I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMETHING.

During the family reunion, I had some beans and made me sick. (it´s hard to explain but to be very honest they get me diarrhea) So, I had way too much re-fried beans and got sick, and while I was walking to the restroom, my grandma was in the middle of the hallway trying to take off her sweater and suddenly I felt how by mistake she punched me in my stomach so hard that I couldn´t eat anything for several hours after that.

On the way back home I had a conversation with my aunt, and she asked me why I didn´t get her anything besides the card I made her, and when I explained myself, she let me know how wrong I was about thinking in that way and also how selfish person I´ve become.

Tonight I feel awful, she was right, if you love somebody you should buy something for that person, not because the materialism, but because that way people feel appreciated and in someway it just bright their days, specially on Mother´s day.

I messed up today, I payed physically and with tears. Not happening again.

Yeah, I screwed up, I still feel bad though.