Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I called you

It was a normal conversation, goodbye.


Suddenly you called me again and...



What?!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Just a Calendar day

Today has become a regular day in my life, full of everything but you. Funny though, today was "our special day".

I´m sick, my throat hurts, my heart hurts too, and for now I would rather pretend I´m Sleeping Beauty, but with the difference that in the end of the story there´s a sign hanging that says: Do not disturb.

I need some time to clear my head, my thoughts, and to realize that I can do whatever I want to do if I´m firmly decided.

For now just let me rest.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

So Funny!

Mexican Words Of The Day


1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car
There's not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,
But che didn't know how to read,
So I, shoulder.
4. * Texas *
When I'm not home,
My fren always Texas me,
Che wonders where I am!
5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza.
I got mine piece
Then che got herpes.

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store
But ju went to see sum guy,
July to me! Ju a lyer!
7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars
But my wife rectum!
8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife
But che said chicken go herself.
9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left
But don't worry wheelchair
10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women.
I told her, "Honey, harassment nothen to me.
12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair
So I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club
But no body wash my kids.
14. *Budweiser*
That women has a nice body,
Budweiser face so ugly?

Nothing to say

I was having our last conversation with you, over the phone... it was a goodbye with a happy ending, because we would remain friends, however, there´s not a big difference from our relationship and now, I guess we just needed to recognize that 5 months ago we were already just friends, because I never felt in your kisses that my boyfriend was ever going to come back to me..

All it´s left from "us" is pictures, I really don´t have great memories, and to be honest, it´s something that at this moment I don´t even want to think about.

Although, I can´t help it because I´m kind of angry that you have nothing else to say, you never have anything to say, good or bad, it´s upsetting.

I never got back the love I gave to you, though, I gave everything I could, to show you that I loved you like I never did before, and you took my love like paper, made a ball with it and threw it with a nice shot in the trash, yup, nice shot.

I´ll keep on dreaming with the perfect kiss, the right hug, and the unbelievable future awaiting.

Monday, December 7, 2009

It´s a busy night


No words describe better my evening than this picture.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dating a Geek: Episode 4

Today I want to

Watch a movie and see you in it

Make a movie so you can see me

Get crazy a little

Make my hair differently

Have blueberry waffles for breakfast

And some eggs too

Look pretty, to feel pretty

Go somewhere if it´s not raining

Drink lots of water

Talk to him about our future

Find some answers

Pray hard

Look at the window and not be sad

Fix my Pascualina

Take a hot shower

know why did I have that strange dream last night

Smile

Wear his hat for a while

Have a good time babysitting

Finish laundry

Vacuum my room (again)

Be myself

Sit back and relax

Take a break

Feel loved

Talk to God and be hugged by Him

Paint my finger nails

Enjoy myself


...have enough time to do it all

Friday, December 4, 2009

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Guilty

I´ve became the person I hated, the one I never wanted to be, the one I shouted out loud it was guilty of all my problems...

I can´t think about anything else right now, it happened to me, I did it, I´m guilty of everything, I fell and hit the ground one more time.

How easy I lost my head and start making the wrong choices, I´m sorry for you, for me, and for everybody who thinks I am a good person.

Here is how I feel:

I´m holding my face in my hands because I´m so ashamed of what I´ve done.

God I´m sorry, I fell, and I fail you, I´m so sorry. Punish me the way I deserve. No mercy on me, I am guilty and in my heart I knew it was wrong.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009

How many more?

Are you ever gonna talk to me again, Ligia? :( please, come back to my life :( I miss you, I need you, I love you... don´t leave me hanging here :(

How many more posts about you will make you come back to my life :(

So many memories since forever... so many pictures since we were kids and why are you silent, not a single word from you :(

I´m sorry about the promise I made... I don´t know what do to about it :(

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Missing you



It just breaks my heart when I see our pictures together... I want to see you, hug you..

I want to go back in time and live again those memories we have, because I keep you in my heart all the time, and I´m sorry about the promise I made and broke, I just wasn´t aware of the distance and all the changes that would come with it.

Please forgive me for letting you go, for losing you this way, I know is not fare, I know it seems that I only care about me right now, but it´s not it, I love you, I care about you, I´m trying to talk to you, but you´re so far, and I can´t help it, I just need you on this, there´s a lot going on in my life and I need you in it, I need your advices, your friendship more than anything, don´t you see? I just can´t live without you, you mean so much to me.

Come on! talk to me, I´m sorry, I miss you, I love you... I have a problem, and if I could talk to you again that would be more than helpful. I want to work things out, make things right, and have you back. Please.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

a Friday in my life

Waking up in the morning with something in mind... oh I´m running late [nahh not really] but for my standards I was right on time.

Play with my dog for a little while as I was making my breakfast it´s one of my favorite things to do, but is still annoying to have to wash my hands every 10 seconds.

Brush my teeth, run to the door, and lock it right behind me, and here I go, my day is bright and sunny! and walking to the bus stop is not that painful, and smells nice because of the new bakery.. awww I like that smell, fresh bread in the morning.

Having to go to class all morning is not that fun, but when is interesting, I must confess that I love it, and you know me, - the time goes fast when you´re having FUN -.

So, the morning went away, just like a good book in the last chapter, or like a great Japanese anime episode.

On the way back home I like sometimes to look through the window in the bus, I always see something new, maybe people walking, people talking (but not on the phone, is dangerous in El Salvador)...

Arriving at home lunch is ready because Ana (family´s maid) works in my house on Fridays, I ask her how is she doing as she takes a lunch brake, we talk for a while about the differences about living in the city and the country (were she lives), and also about my grandma, because my grandma is so loving and caring.. then she says, - Ligia called - and checking finally my phone I can see her txt saying that... we need to go out for doughnuts and talk.

The greatest moment in the day finally comes, there´s just NOTHING in the world like going out with her to a doughnut place called "Mister Donut" and just hang out.

Ligia and I have been best friends since I remember, we grew up together teasing each other, and calling ourselves with some other friends, "the lesbians frogs" that´s why we like frogs so much lol.

We went to school together, and also attended the same church were we first met and over time started to serve.

She has been there for me every time I really needed her:

When I got sick
When I got surgery (wisdom teeth)
When my dog got sick
For my dog´s checkup
Just to hang out in my house
To have dinner at a Taiwanese Restaurant
To talk about boys at Mister Donut
To talk about life
When I needed a best friend´s advice

And of course... to go to the bathroom with!

Those are just a few reasons why, I am so excited when it comes to share some doughnuts with Ligia at our favorite spot.


I just miss the old times, the good times... and having Ligia in my life.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sobre mi vida anterior

Has vivido 8273 días, 1 horas, 38 minutos y 32 segundos en esta vida.

No sé cómo te sientas al respecto Nora, pero parece que tú fuiste hombre en tu última encarnación.

Muy probablemente pasaste los últimos momentos de tu vida en algún lugar cerca de Hawai, aproximadamente en el año 0575.

Es posible que tu ocupación en esa vida fuera algo relacionado con librero, monje, guardián de reliquias

Una breve descripción psicológica de tu vida anterior: Buscador de la verdad y la sabiduria. Pudistes imaginar tus vidas futuras. Otras personas te miraban como un idealitas, un lider espiritual.

Lo que tu vida pasada te ha enseñado para la presente: Ayudas a los ancianos y a los niños. Tu venistes a esta vida a aprender y a cuidar de los necesitados y débiles.



No creo mucho en esto pero estuvo interesante.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hoy no puedo dormir

Nunca pensé que llegaría este día.

Nunca me imaginé que hablar sobre la violencia en El Salvador se volvería parte de mi vida como es hoy.

Una llamada telefónica es todo lo que hacen, para asustar, para ponerte alerta.

"Te llama Cristian Velásquez, de seguro no me conoce por mi nombre, pero a mi me conocen como el Spiderman de la mara salvatrucha, ya le llegó el sobre con las instrucciones?"

(suspiro)


Mi mamá colgó el teléfono.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Little by little

I´m forgetting your smile
I´m forgetting your hugs
I´m forgetting how was to be in your arms
I´m forgetting the last time you hold my hand
I´m forgetting the color of your eyes
I´m forgetting how it felt to kiss you...

Little by little... you hurt me...

And now, I´m not telling you that I love you...

But I don´t want to forget that I do.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Very early this morning

I woke up this morning, and I felt like talking... so, here I am, talking to you Father God.

I wonder why sometimes you wake me up so early, but in the end I know that you wanted me to talk with you. You´re great, because you knew I was not going to do anything more besides seeking you, and somehow you know I´m carrying some things in my heart.

Father God, I have a lot of praises, I just can´t help it, I´ve been so blessed by you, I´m so happy that you´ve been so good to me. You´ve gave me a great family and friends back in El Salvador, and you´ve gave me great friends back in St. Louis. I´m thankful that you trust me and now I´m with a new host family that needs you so much, please keep helping me to show your love through me. So far they all know in my heart that you´re the most important thing for me, but they still don´t understand why or how is that possible, help me please in this, I know it will take baby steps, so give me patience to know the right way to go.

Today is the big day for Jeff, he is moving to his new apartment, God I pray you´ll help him. Give him strength to carry his stuff, help him get through everything this morning. Thank you for blessing him with great friends to help him to move. He is very special to me, I pray that you will also help us to find more about ourselves through this time, thank you for the things you´ve provided to help us to understand each other the best way. I pray that you will bless us with patience, compassion and love.

God, you know that I have the desire to start working in my own projects very soon, but I want you to be part of them, I want to show your love through the things I do, because I praise you in so many ways, that I want to show it too in the creativity you´ve gave me. I just pray you´ll provide everything I need in this, because it will be my gift to you.

Thank you God again for waking me up this morning... thank you for the sunrise.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Do you Remember?






















Memories live in our hearts, only if you look back to make them last forever.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

My little adventure at the retirement community

So, everyday we have two options, to get up and have a great day because you want to, or maybe not to have a great day because you didn´t even plan it in your head... Come on! let´s start a day with a positive mind!

Today is Sunday, and so far it´s been good for me. But here is my Sunday morning story.

I woke up and have to admit I was having a hard time in my head because things are not happening the way I wanted to. But still, I started my day starting my computer and checking my e-mail, and I got this video in my inbox from one of my friends.



After watching this video, I thought that this was going to be a great day... because I wanted to have a day with good times only.

I had breakfast, and afterwords I was getting ready to go to church with my host mom´s grandparents. This was a whole new experience, because I´ve never been to a Methodist Church. So, we were on our way to church at 10:30 actually, I posted on Facebook at 9am early this morning by mistake, but it took us 30 min to get to church because we got lost. It was a 10 mile drive but good thing we got lost though, now I know how the entire Greenville downtown looks like.

Talking about the church, let me say it was nice, they have different rituals, and the preacher took close to 20 min to finish. That was fast, I know.

At the end of the service I helped grandma to get to the car because she loses her balance easily. By the way I noticed that when we were taking the communion and she lost her balance over the Reverend. Don´t worry! he got her and she made this funny joke about telling him -Don´t worry Reverend, I´m not drunk-

After getting in the car grandma and grandpa decided to take me to their retirement community to have lunch. On the way they asked me what church I used to go in St. Louis, and in El Salvador. We talked a lot of different kind of things, but I think the best topic was "what did you get spankings for when you were young?", that was a good one.

Finally, we got to retirement community, and we went into this tall building were the restaurant is located.

Everybody there was old, I expected that of course, but what I didn´t was the yummy food I was about to have. Grandma said, everything here is delicious, and -you need to check this out- I asked what? she said... -There is a handsome waiter here, we all like him-.

We got our food from the buffet, and as we were talking, this famous waiter showed up. Grandma sight him so quickly, and drank all her water at once with no breathing, and saying out loud called: -John! could you please give me some lemonade?-, and he said Yes ma´m, with a smile.

I must say, that waiter was really handsome, just like she said.

John came back to the table with grandma´s lemonade, she blinked at me and whispered -I did it so you could take a better look-... oh my gosh! I was laughing and having so much fun, I don´t even remember how many times she used a silly excuse just to get him to the table. Grandma had the most amazing tricks to get his attention, but the best one, was the one with the banana pudding, I´ll keep it to myself though ;)

I learned a huge lesson today, having fun it´s up to me to make it happen, and I might not see this waiter again, or anybody at that retirement community, but I will always remember that everywhere I go, I can have fun, just because is great ;)

Oh by the way, grandpa doesn´t hear well, so he missed the whole thing! (^^) hehehe


Saturday, August 1, 2009

You have no idea


It´s been a week without everybody I want in my life now, it´s been hard.

Being away makes inevitable the fact that I´m more independent. It also makes me feel your selfishness because you call me whenever you want to, or no calls if you don´t feel like it.

I have a question for you, do you think is easy being apart from your family, your friends, and also the one you love? well, I hope one day you feel that way when you move to your new place, ALONE. You´ll wish that someone would call on the phone just to check in or ask if you need to talk. Because that´s how I feel, and the saddest part: I can´t feel your support in this hard time for me, maybe I don´t need you, maybe this was meant to be like this... who knows.

I´m becoming stronger, I´m not crying anymore. I´m still missing you though. But I´m wondering why do I miss you, what do I miss from you, if you´ve became a different person for me, someone who´s not even sure about what to feel for me... I haven´t even heard a decent and truly -I love you- from you.

It makes me feel upset how easily I lost you.

I feel cold. I´m changing day-by-day and I don´t like what I see in the mirror. No smile, no sadness, no happiness... thanks to you I´m killing all feelings in my heart. Funny thing, I´m not thankful about it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Cross my heart

I´ve never lived a moment like this...

In the sadness I´m trying to hide, my mind tricked me really bad today. And I SAW you in the middle of a crowd, looking at me when I was turning for one second, then I turned back and you were gone... that moment, that second hit my heart so hard, I just wanted to mourn.

Just wondering how am I going to get through this. We are a team, but we´re not doing teamwork, and I can´t pull myself and you at the same time.

Surprising, almost everybody has told me you´re not the right one for me because I´m too good for you, that what I´m fighting for is worthless... but then, why inside my heart I feel that I´m doing the right thing by giving you a second chance?

I still have feelings for you... I never felt love like this before. Just whispering to the air if this is real love, and if in this story it´ll be a happy ending.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Facebook Message

I love him so much, that I gave him a second chance, although he is not showing any motivation... I told him, that love is a decision, and if he chooses not to love me anymore, he is not loosing just Nora, he is actually loosing the girl who had loved him the most, the one who has been there when he needed someone to trust, to believe in him, in his crazy stuff that is so awesome, it´s willing to become his wife and rule the house, and make him breakfast every morning, spend time together, and most of all, the girl who forgave him and still believe that he can change and be trustful again.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

You can do it

My Dearest and Beloved, I want to make you smile, hold you in my arms.

Your happiness is my happiness, hope you can find everything you need in this new adventure. Don´t worry about the small things, you´re strong, you always make things work out, because your wise.

You are so brave, you´ve done great so far. You´ve gave your best and all you got... But still have much more to live, to give, to love. Don´t think so much about the far future is coming up, believe in yourself, trust your instincts, live one day at a time, work hard, never give up.

My promise is that you won´t be alone, angels are surrounding you wherever you go, don´t hesitate to cry on their shoulder if you need to. I know it´s a hard time for you, but remember, this is just a stage in your life that you need to get through, because you need to learn some things by your own.

Enjoy this trip, there are many more to come, don´t make your own plans, because you never know when I´m going to call you for a purpose, an important one.

Take care, be aware, I´m with you, I´m everywhere.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Rejected


Feeling far from you is something I can´t stand, even though you´re next to me.

Your silence, the missing hugs, missing kisses, makes my eyes look sleepy, my mouth doesn´t want to say a word, my tears want to come out and draw a river... without you, I´m just not feeling like myself, not feeling alive anymore, walking and just look at the floor, numb and quiet.

Why are you acting like this? why are you killing everything I feel for you? why do you want me to stay away? I can not even feel free to rub your head, to take your hand, or to look you in the eyes.

This is how you´re killing me... slowly, strongly, hurting me.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tell me I´m wrong, please


Today is a cloudy day in my life, I´m feeling empty and lost.

I could be packing my bags, and instead of that I´m just wasting my time. I´m tired. My body feels tired. I took a shower a few moments ago and it didn´t help. Maybe I´m just tired of what I´m doing, what I´m not, and everything else.

Depressed. That would be a good word to describe how I feel right now. There´s a lot of thoughts in my head, about loneliness, feeling trapped, not to be allowed to be myself, goodbyes, and most of all, afraid of not having a happy ending.

Imagine my last minutes in St. Louis doesn´t help to the fact that I´ll be gone. I won´t be close to the one I´m supposed to be with. And that person is going to forget about me, maybe going to brake my heart. I´m scared. I´m sad. I can´t be asking all the time for love, and someday, he will show me love... somehow.

I can´t be begging for love the rest of my life.

Do you love me or not? are you ever going to show it?



or not?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Tú?


Te he visto durante los últimos días, sí es cierto, no estoy mintiendo, te vi.

Tenía tanto tiempo de no verte y me he sorprendido la fuerza con la que me dejas sin palabras.

Pero eres un extraño para mi, y yo soy alguien que no debe de ser relevante en tu vida.

Siento como tú estas mirándome, con una sonrisa y a veces con una cara triste, qué te pasa? qué tienes en mente?

Si yo no te busco, por qué ahora vienes, y tomas forma de recuerdo y te puedo ver claramente? si, no estoy mintiendo, he visto tus ojos, tu cabello, tu sonrisa... Y simplemente doy un paso atrás, para mi sorpresa, eres tú.

No tengo que salir de mi casa para verte, pero tu presencia hasta cierto punto me molesta, perdóname, pero yo no quiero verte.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Platicando con Dios

Hace unos meses atrás recuerdo que tuve una noche en la que platiqué con Dios, me di cuenta que cada cosa que pedía era porque yo así lo quería, porque era parte de mi plan. Mas nunca me puse a pensar cuál era SU plan para mi.

Fue entonces cuando comprendí, y mi plática se volvió una negociación, y le presenté a Dios las opciones que yo tenía, y que si a él le parecía bien, que entonces me permitiera y me concediera alguna de ellas. Claro, yo no recuerdo a alguien más haciendo esto mas que a Abraham en el principio de los tiempos... pero talves podría dar resultado conmigo, pues a pesar de todo mi fe está únicamente en Dios.

Las semanas pasaron, y yo dejé todo en sus manos, no insistí más. Yo sabía que si algo iba a pasar era porque era su voluntad. Nunca hablé de las opciones que yo le di a Dios a las personas a quien les competía tomar aquella decisión final, pero no me cabía la menor duda que Dios tiene el control de todo.

Y no fue hasta hoy a las 12 del mediodia, cuando Dios me abrazó, y me dijo que había tomado una decisión.

Y pase lo que pase, yo te busco, te alabo, y siempre confiaré en ti.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hoy y mañana


Cada mañana pienso en ti, confío en ti.

Te busco
Te siento
Me alegro

Paso el día abrazada en tu amor.

Y cuando todos vienen con dudas, les recuerdo que tu tienes el control de todo,
no me equivoco verdad?

Sé que estás ahi, sé que me escuchas... sin embargo aún no me respondes, qué pasa?

A qué se debe tu silencio?

Las dudas avanzan, la gente me pregunta, y yo les vuelto a responder que tu tienes el control.

Y nuevamente te busco, reconozco que eres el único que sabe lo que hace, pero yo aún no lo entiendo.

Yo sé que estoy viendo los hilos entrecruzados, y hay hilos negros, de oro y varios muy brillantes, y hasta el momento sólo tu puedes ver el otro lado con el resultado final.

Muéstrame que no estoy loca, que no tengo que desesperarme, dame la paciencia que tu tienes, dame tus ojos para ver las cosas que sólo tú ves.

Cada mañana, pienso en ti.

Te busco
Te encuentro
Te alabo

Y mi corazón confía en ti ciegamente.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

¿Qué obsesión tenes conmigo?

FACEBOOK STALKER I CAUGHT YOU!

I know who you are, and the only thing I have to say is that you are ridiculous.

You´re obsessed with my life for some reason and that is pathetic, GET A LIFE.

You have no right to keep stalking me, find a job or a hobby, DO something better.

Stop updating your memory with MY memories, stop looking my pictures and get over it.

I´m sick of people like YOU. SICK PEOPLE.

You are a graduated person, show that you are a grown up please. Stalking people is immature.

Your life is SAD, move on and leave me alone.

Are you jealous? Angry? Upset? What is wrong with you?

Do what you want with your twisted life, but don´t make me part of it.

Get lost.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Jueves 25 de Junio de 2009

Ayer pasó lo que menos me imaginé. Uno de esos momentos en que sabes exactamente donde estabas, qué estabas haciendo, justo cuando uno de los acontecimientos más grandes en la historia ocurría.

Una gran pérdida para el mundo, un hombre que movió masas y corazones alrededor del globo, y también fue una gran inspiración para todos en cierto momento.

Yo no viví mi juventud al lado de Michael Jackson, pero sí recuerdo la primera vez que vi uno de sus videos, fue cuando me levantaba muy temprano por la mañana con mis hermanos para alistarnos a ir al colegio, y mientras nos turnábamos la ducha, poníamos la tele y veíamos videos musicales de -comencemos ya-. Michael Jackson ya habia cambiado su tonalidad de tez para ese entonces... y todos en el colegio solían murmurar que él habia tenido un transplante de piel o algo similar, pero ese es otro tema aparte. En fin me pareció que el video era un tanto interesante y divertido, era "Black or white", y lo admito, me encantaba.

También recuerdo cuando vi la película Free Willy, que desde ese día le tuve pánico a las ballenas, pero algo interesante habia al final del largometraje, y para mi sorpresa era un video de Michael Jackson, era "Will you be there", quedé deslumbrada, y cada vez que pienso en esa película, mi primer recuerdo es la canción que Michael Jackson cantaba.

Talves no fui fan debota, y quizá nunca intenté bailar como él lo hacía, pero al oir su voz en sus canciones... reconozco que es él cantando, y esos movimientos únicos... eran de Michael Jackson. Y nunca habrá nadie como él... y en cierta manera, creí que a lo largo de mi vida siempre iba haber algo nuevo a saber de él, algún regreso que iba a dejarnos a todos bocabierta, y creo que lo hizo, admito que he quedado impactada con su partida.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sólo quiero dormir...


Hoy tengo mucho sueño, la ansiedad ha invadido mi cuerpo, no me ha dejado dormir bien, y hace que conciliar el sueño sea una hazaña, tras pasar varias horas retorciéndome en la cama. El día que creí perdido se acerca, y pronto me encontrará.

Ésta sensación está robando toda mi energía, y no puedo evitarlo, no imaginé que éste momento llegaría tan pronto.

Quiero dormir, pero mi cabeza comienza a dar demasiadas vueltas, con preguntas, con dudas, con el miedo a quedarme sin palabras, quiero tener listas todas las respuestas a tus interrogantes, quiero poder hablar de la simplicidad de la vida, quiero volver a reírme contigo, poder abrazarte una vez más, pero no tener que pensar en que pronto te diré adiós nuevamente.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sunlight for Alice



Alice was happier than ever, she had all her toys back and the sun was brighter than ever. She decided to go and play, feel the breeze through her hair, lifting up her arms and spinning around.

Finally she let herself fall on the grass with her hands in the back of her head, took a deep breath and pointing to the sky began to tell the shapes of the clouds.

Hours passed on, and she was walking with a butterfly on her finger, telling the most beautiful story about a princess awaiting for her true love.

The butterfly turned orange and flew away.

Alice packed her toys, and walking by the sunset she realized she had to go back to the darkness of the night.

"It was a fun day though" - she said, as she was holding her knees in that cold night.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I feel like...




If I was a color, right now I would be brown.

If I was an object, I would be an airplane.

If I was a season, I would be winter.

If I was a picture, I would be looking at you.

If I was lost, I would look to the stars up in the sky.

If I had super-powers, I would be with you in a blink of an eye.

If I had nothing to do, I would imagine you making funny things to entertain me.

If I was an animal, I would be a squirrel, but I wouldn´t eat nuts because I hate them.

If I´m dreaming, I´d love to dream about you.

If I had a LOT of money, I would invest to make more, and never run out of it, so I can always help people around the world.

If I was a song, I would be one with piano, violin and a gentle voice.

If I was sad, I would never tell you.

If I want something, I will get it.

If I was a dessert, I would be an apple pie.

If I want to see you, I would close my eyes.

If I had no enemies, we would all still being friends.

If I was a fruit, I would be a mango.

If I was with you, you would never control me.

If I was a liquid, I would be water.

If I had lemons, I would use them on my tilapia.

If I could touch the sky, I would be dreaming for sure.

If I was hiding something, I would say "pick a hand".

If I was a drink, I would be orange juice.

If I was laying on the ground, I would be just getting some rest.

If I could go wherever I want, I would go to the cemetery.

If I could live again one moment of my life, I would like to fall from that tree again.

If I could talk to you again, I would say I´m sorry.

If I was an instrument, I would be thermometer.

If I was there with you, now, you tell me.

If I was a musical instrument, I would be a flute.

If I had more time, I would keep going...

Sunday, June 14, 2009

¡En orden!

Mi tiempo libre comenzó el día viernes a eso de las 2pm, decidí poner ciertas cosas en orden y comenzar a lavar mi ropa, lo cual no es la gran cosa, pues donde vivo, sólo meto la ropa en la lavadora, después la paso a la secadora, doblo mi ropa y taráaan todo listo...

Arreglé mi cama, pues también lavé mis sábanas, así cuando regrese todo estará limpio, fresco, y sobre todo ordenado.

Y hablando de ordenado, no puedo dejar de lado algo que no tiene orden en mi vida, pero estoy poniendo todo mi esfuerzo por mejorar, y es al haragancito de mi novio, con el cual he pasado un fin de semana de lo más relajante, pero ahora ha llegado el momento de limpiar y ordenar su cuarto, y así mismo animarlo a organizarse mejor, pues pronto tendrá su propio apartamento.

Organizando mi tiempo, mis cosas, y por un tiempo, mi vida también.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

While you play and I sleep

The Summer Rocket - So much love

Friday, May 29, 2009

El día que llegó



Hoy simplemente se dio el momento.

Llegó el día en el que las lágrimas salieron, y sólo quise llorar mis penas.

Hoy simplemente sucedió lo que no esperaba.

Llegó el día en el que no quiero que nadie me vea, y no quiero ver a nadie.

Hoy simplemente no pude decir nada.

Llegó el día en el que tuve que tragarme mis palabras y te dejé ganar.

Hoy simplemente he decidido no pedirte nada.

Llegó el día en el que ya no creeré más en tí.

Hoy simplemente deseé haber...

Llegó el día en el que ya no quiero...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Merecidas Vacaciones

Después de tanto tiempo por fin llegó...

¡Mi primera semana de vacación!

Hasta el momento ha sido una experiencia muy emocionante. Me siento hasta culpable de estar actualizando mi blog, teniendo el mar en frente de mi, la arena blanca y ésta brisa tan relajante que me hace querer ir a caminar a la orilla de la playa. Pero otra vez aqui, queriendo plasmar mi sentir antes de comenzar a hacer lo planeado para el día de hoy.

Tantas pláticas, tantos momentos, y hoy por fin que todo va tomando forma, me siento más alegre, espectánte y emocionada. De aquí a un año exactamente mi vida cambiará en 180º cosa que desde ya me lo estoy mentalizando.

Y hoy, iré a meditar frente al mar, disfrutar de todo lo que me rodea, cerraré mis ojos... y ahí disfrutaré un día más de mis merecidas vacaciones.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Schedule

Monday:

working from: 8am
to: 5pm
ESL Class: 6 - 9pm

Tuesday:

working from: 7am
to: 5pm
ESL Class: 6 - 9pm

Wednesday:

working from: 8am
to: 5pm
D Class: 7 - 8.30pm

Thursday:

working from: 8am
to: 5pm

Friday:

working from: 8am
to: 4pm

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother´s Day


Is my first time celebrating Mother´s Day, and today I couldn´t even talked to my own mom.

It´s hard, right now I rather be with my mummy than being here just thinking about her.

I´m so far away from her, and all I wish is telling her how much I love and miss her.

If I could, I´d give her a nice gift, a great hug, and cook or bake something yummy.

Mother´s Day is not the same without you mom, I hope to see you soon, because I miss your company, your food, your smile, your hugs, your surprises when you get from work, making you a cup of coffee in the afternoon, going to church together, cooking together... or watch a movie in your bed, just the two of us.

I love you mom, I miss you.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

A la par mía

Abriendo una pequeña tarjeta encontré más de una respuesta...
Fue como ver una pequeña luz que a medida se acercaba, en mi mirada crecía.

No sé todavía cómo pensaste en eso, no sé aún si fue mi pensamiento en ti,
o tu pensamiento que llegó a mi.

Leyendo tus palabras, creyendo cada una de ellas, y llenándome de serenidad para pensar lento. Pues en esto no debo pensar rápido, o puedo cometer el error más grande de mi vida.

Tus ojos con lágrimas, tu mano lejos de la mía. Días que pasaron sin saber de ti, sin saber de tus abrazos o tus sueños.

Fuiste un errante en mi mundo y te creí perdido.

Pero te encontré, y ahí en tus brazos me volví a encontrar, y así me desperaste otra vez.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Don´t you see?

I just can´t fix you..



I´m not there anymore.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Not so simple... just special


Life is full of special details that you can´t miss or just pass by in front of and ignore them, it´s not the way to be...

I want something special, unique, something to remember as the most beautiful moment in my life, simple, but full with pieces of happiness.

I´m not talking about luxury, the most expensive one, I´m talking about something more valuable than money, something that I dreamed about too.

Every girl has they´re own princess undone story, and mine needs a happy ending, that´s what I want.

I´ll make it happen, I´ll put all together, I´ll work on it if you don´t.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

And... I threw up

This morning I was feeling just fine, it was supposed to be a great day, partly sunny, and warm. I was planning the activities I was going to do with the kids I take care of.

I was walking up the stairs, I got to the sink and started to wash some grapes for the 6 year old girl´s snack.

When I finished washing the grapes, I ran to my bathroom.

Everything was supposed to be great, until, I threw up.

I´m in bed.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Relajada


Hoy me siento contenta, no estoy tan cansada como suelo estarlo, pero a pesar de todo, aún siento que la almohada me llama desde lejos... Ya voy! ya casi casi termino! sólo quiero terminar de escribir algo en mi blog...

Pensando en cómo ha cambiado mi vida, mi estilo de vestir, mi forma de peinarme, mi forma de comer, incluso mi forma de hablar... Me siento más libre debo admitirlo, no tengo a nadie que me regañe, pero sí tengo personitas especiales que se preocupan por mi.

Me siento querida y apreciada, productiva y útil, genuina y aceptada, pequeña... como siempre.

No quiero dejar todo lo que he construido, y sé que será difícil también dejar todo lo que un día fue mi vida, pero mi futuro es así, y me emociona a la vez.

Cuando regrese a mi casa arreglaré un par de cosas y situaciones con varias personas.

Me pregunto, dónde dormiré, pues mi cuarto ahora es un estudio. De todas formas, eso no es importante, lo principal es arreglar y recoger fragmentos de mi vida que no quiero olvidar.

Hoy me veo a mi misma, con mi pelo corto, mi sudadera de colores, alegre, tranquila, todo medido, todo calculado, todo bien... por el momento.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

4 am Again...


One more time, awake at the same time, thinking about you... missing you and you´re so far from me.

I heard your voice, but I don´t want to cry about it, it´s just too much, forgive me if I don´t talk to you, I´m not ready.

Enjoy your weekend, I won´t be the reason for you to be upset... I had to stay, and unfortunate it had to be the weekend of our special day, I still can´t stand that.. why? :(

Anyway, we´ll talk on Tuesday, when everything will be back to normal.

Until then...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Alone


A feeling I just don´t want to have right now
I know I´m not alone
but it feels like it

Anyway it will be my second weekend like this
should I still count them?
should I get use to it?

I need to be happy by myself and enjoy my own company
I´m not that boring, am I? [asking the air again]

I will let my phone die, anyway, you won´t call me.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Worn out!!!

So, I went to this power cardio kick-boxing class... amazing! it was great, I was working out for real, like I´ve never before... made me think about my mom´s gym in El Salvador, I miss it.

It´s been so long since the last time I was there, all the good memories, and all the lessons that I learned from that experience that personally I decided to call -training for life- because it was very useful, now my perspective through life is different.

This past weekend I also found the answer that I was looking for long ago... where is home? what is home? I´m glad to know the answer now!

The answer was holding me.



It´s not late, but got to confess I´m exhausted... I´m heading to bed to rest after a long day.

And tomorrow I´ll feel home again, with you holding me tight.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Windy day


Today it´s been a short but a fun day for me, it was so relaxing, waking up and knowing that there was no responsibility to do.

I´m happy because of the good news this week. I´m smiling again, and my heart feels happy to know that everything between us is nice.

Things are getting there own way, and are turning to our favor. I´m glad to be holding your hand my God, that´s how you show me your faithfulness.

today, I´m happy... I had pizza, I had dessert, it was a windy day, great day for cooking with my friends too!

The happiness is fulfilling me, I can even kiss you with all my passion inside, like in a Tale, were I´m your princess, and you are my prince, enjoying the sunset, enjoying our love.

All this happened in a windy day (^^,)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

boooo

It always used to be like this...

N: I have a Question.

J: I HAVE AN ANSWER!!!

but today...

J: I don´t have answers for you.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Good times

Last night...

when we were watching the movie, you were holding my hand
I missed you so much this week
I´ve been dreaming about you
thinking a lot about you
I love to feel you close to me
you showed me how much you missed me too
I´m glad I´m not only a picture in your cube
I´m part of your heart and so you are.

The way you hold me in your arms and smell my hair
and the many times you kissed me pretty spontaneous
that feeling of not wanting to let me go
it was just nice.

You know that, I want to stay with you forever
you know it in English, you know it in Spanish
by the way, I love every time you translate me
it´s from my heart to yours.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Al final del día

Comienzo a escribir con un bostezo...

Me siento cansada, con algo de sueño
y aqui entre mis ganas de seguir viendo tu foto
y la insesante batalla contra el cansancio
creo que terminaré cerrando mis ojos
y ahi en mis sueños te veré.



Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Home, where I wanted to go... (8)


Today I finished fulfilling my new application to be an au pair for a few more months, which is funny, I´m already dreaming awake about going home when I get done...

I´m so ready to go back home...

God give me patience please!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

(^^,)

I went to the zoo yesterday, and it was a great experience!

I saw penguins for the first time, I felt happy...

and then I got this in my mail:



Cute Pandas, I loved them... Thank you for making me smile.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Walking in the darkness

Nothing is blue, only clouds on my way
so, so depressed
keep trying to find answers and faith

My life sucks, still sucks today
is still going to suck tomorrow?

I hurt three of my fingers yesterday
and I can barely type today
nothing is broken, just purple

it´s funny when you think nothing could be worse
something else happens... haha very funny

what now?
my soul feels like dieing
by the way I´m loosing weight again

TODAY I´M STILL DEPRESSED

God I´m sorry, I feel so selfish, it is so not fair for the people who loves me and are trying hard to help me... I wish I could vanish at once.

Friday, March 20, 2009

In the shadows

Today I woke up and still think the same about my life...
it simply sucks, it´s not worth it anymore
but giving up life is the answer?

Even if I think about taking my life I think I´m too coward to do it
I just can´t
not an option definitely... I´ll deal with it

So instead of that, I´ll take this weekend and have time for my own
to make a reflection about what I want and don´t for my life

It´s frustrating getting to the point where I feel so lost
I´m feeling pathetic , worthless

Just wishing life wasn´t this hard... life is becoming tough
more than I ever thought

God, you can read my mind, you know what´s in my heart... help me to get through this.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Gracias y no más... libre, al fin


Ya no estoy aqui para ti
estoy cansada
te hablo a tí, a tí y a tí...

sólo vayánse lejos, ya no soy real para ninguno
ya no dormiré y soñaré 
ya no más
estan lejos y sigo aqui

me siento contenta
no me siento sola
no estoy sola
así que éste acuerdo que ahora tenemos
que sirva de algo

Y a tí...  no viviré esperandote toda la vida
yo te eché de mi vida una vez y ahora te toca a tí hacerlo otra vez
sólo tú sabes cómo

todo lo que un día soñé lo he encontrado
así que... gracias
me has hecho un favor.