Thursday, July 30, 2009

Cross my heart

I´ve never lived a moment like this...

In the sadness I´m trying to hide, my mind tricked me really bad today. And I SAW you in the middle of a crowd, looking at me when I was turning for one second, then I turned back and you were gone... that moment, that second hit my heart so hard, I just wanted to mourn.

Just wondering how am I going to get through this. We are a team, but we´re not doing teamwork, and I can´t pull myself and you at the same time.

Surprising, almost everybody has told me you´re not the right one for me because I´m too good for you, that what I´m fighting for is worthless... but then, why inside my heart I feel that I´m doing the right thing by giving you a second chance?

I still have feelings for you... I never felt love like this before. Just whispering to the air if this is real love, and if in this story it´ll be a happy ending.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Facebook Message

I love him so much, that I gave him a second chance, although he is not showing any motivation... I told him, that love is a decision, and if he chooses not to love me anymore, he is not loosing just Nora, he is actually loosing the girl who had loved him the most, the one who has been there when he needed someone to trust, to believe in him, in his crazy stuff that is so awesome, it´s willing to become his wife and rule the house, and make him breakfast every morning, spend time together, and most of all, the girl who forgave him and still believe that he can change and be trustful again.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

You can do it

My Dearest and Beloved, I want to make you smile, hold you in my arms.

Your happiness is my happiness, hope you can find everything you need in this new adventure. Don´t worry about the small things, you´re strong, you always make things work out, because your wise.

You are so brave, you´ve done great so far. You´ve gave your best and all you got... But still have much more to live, to give, to love. Don´t think so much about the far future is coming up, believe in yourself, trust your instincts, live one day at a time, work hard, never give up.

My promise is that you won´t be alone, angels are surrounding you wherever you go, don´t hesitate to cry on their shoulder if you need to. I know it´s a hard time for you, but remember, this is just a stage in your life that you need to get through, because you need to learn some things by your own.

Enjoy this trip, there are many more to come, don´t make your own plans, because you never know when I´m going to call you for a purpose, an important one.

Take care, be aware, I´m with you, I´m everywhere.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Rejected


Feeling far from you is something I can´t stand, even though you´re next to me.

Your silence, the missing hugs, missing kisses, makes my eyes look sleepy, my mouth doesn´t want to say a word, my tears want to come out and draw a river... without you, I´m just not feeling like myself, not feeling alive anymore, walking and just look at the floor, numb and quiet.

Why are you acting like this? why are you killing everything I feel for you? why do you want me to stay away? I can not even feel free to rub your head, to take your hand, or to look you in the eyes.

This is how you´re killing me... slowly, strongly, hurting me.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tell me I´m wrong, please


Today is a cloudy day in my life, I´m feeling empty and lost.

I could be packing my bags, and instead of that I´m just wasting my time. I´m tired. My body feels tired. I took a shower a few moments ago and it didn´t help. Maybe I´m just tired of what I´m doing, what I´m not, and everything else.

Depressed. That would be a good word to describe how I feel right now. There´s a lot of thoughts in my head, about loneliness, feeling trapped, not to be allowed to be myself, goodbyes, and most of all, afraid of not having a happy ending.

Imagine my last minutes in St. Louis doesn´t help to the fact that I´ll be gone. I won´t be close to the one I´m supposed to be with. And that person is going to forget about me, maybe going to brake my heart. I´m scared. I´m sad. I can´t be asking all the time for love, and someday, he will show me love... somehow.

I can´t be begging for love the rest of my life.

Do you love me or not? are you ever going to show it?



or not?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Tú?


Te he visto durante los últimos días, sí es cierto, no estoy mintiendo, te vi.

Tenía tanto tiempo de no verte y me he sorprendido la fuerza con la que me dejas sin palabras.

Pero eres un extraño para mi, y yo soy alguien que no debe de ser relevante en tu vida.

Siento como tú estas mirándome, con una sonrisa y a veces con una cara triste, qué te pasa? qué tienes en mente?

Si yo no te busco, por qué ahora vienes, y tomas forma de recuerdo y te puedo ver claramente? si, no estoy mintiendo, he visto tus ojos, tu cabello, tu sonrisa... Y simplemente doy un paso atrás, para mi sorpresa, eres tú.

No tengo que salir de mi casa para verte, pero tu presencia hasta cierto punto me molesta, perdóname, pero yo no quiero verte.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Platicando con Dios

Hace unos meses atrás recuerdo que tuve una noche en la que platiqué con Dios, me di cuenta que cada cosa que pedía era porque yo así lo quería, porque era parte de mi plan. Mas nunca me puse a pensar cuál era SU plan para mi.

Fue entonces cuando comprendí, y mi plática se volvió una negociación, y le presenté a Dios las opciones que yo tenía, y que si a él le parecía bien, que entonces me permitiera y me concediera alguna de ellas. Claro, yo no recuerdo a alguien más haciendo esto mas que a Abraham en el principio de los tiempos... pero talves podría dar resultado conmigo, pues a pesar de todo mi fe está únicamente en Dios.

Las semanas pasaron, y yo dejé todo en sus manos, no insistí más. Yo sabía que si algo iba a pasar era porque era su voluntad. Nunca hablé de las opciones que yo le di a Dios a las personas a quien les competía tomar aquella decisión final, pero no me cabía la menor duda que Dios tiene el control de todo.

Y no fue hasta hoy a las 12 del mediodia, cuando Dios me abrazó, y me dijo que había tomado una decisión.

Y pase lo que pase, yo te busco, te alabo, y siempre confiaré en ti.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hoy y mañana


Cada mañana pienso en ti, confío en ti.

Te busco
Te siento
Me alegro

Paso el día abrazada en tu amor.

Y cuando todos vienen con dudas, les recuerdo que tu tienes el control de todo,
no me equivoco verdad?

Sé que estás ahi, sé que me escuchas... sin embargo aún no me respondes, qué pasa?

A qué se debe tu silencio?

Las dudas avanzan, la gente me pregunta, y yo les vuelto a responder que tu tienes el control.

Y nuevamente te busco, reconozco que eres el único que sabe lo que hace, pero yo aún no lo entiendo.

Yo sé que estoy viendo los hilos entrecruzados, y hay hilos negros, de oro y varios muy brillantes, y hasta el momento sólo tu puedes ver el otro lado con el resultado final.

Muéstrame que no estoy loca, que no tengo que desesperarme, dame la paciencia que tu tienes, dame tus ojos para ver las cosas que sólo tú ves.

Cada mañana, pienso en ti.

Te busco
Te encuentro
Te alabo

Y mi corazón confía en ti ciegamente.