Random thoughts

Time flies right before your eyes... The new paranormal activity movie (4?) is coming up and I have no intentions of seeing it, though I recall watching the first movie of that sequel at the movie theater a long time ago when I used to be one of those girls who gets so scared that couldn't stand a weird scene without holding a guy's arm or covering my eyes with my own hoodie...

I don't even know why am I even thinking about it.

Happy :)

Yep, that's how me and my boyfriend may look like when we're enjoying our relationship, losing track of time... I can't imagine my life without him. 

He is my moon, my stars and my teddy bear to hug on a rainy afternoon... it was nice to snuggle today.

Inner peace

When everything you've done feels right.

When is out of sight and out of mind.

When I look at the sky and take a deep breath.

When I turn the Wifi off at night so I can sleep tight.

When I'm not having dinner alone.

When I pray early in the morning.

When He hugs me...

When I reach out to Him.

When I'm done with my homework.

When we're snuggling and I feel home.

When I run up the hill and fly my kite.

When I make you an apple pie.

When I look at you and you look at me too.

When I cry and you're there to hug me.

When I fall asleep and you watch my sleep.

When I think of Lili and Odin's smile.

When I recall how much Emily cared for me.

When I imagine Eric walking out Brishti.

When I picture Brishti with her new owner.

When I have sushi with tons of ginger and soy sauce.

When it starts raining and I think of my dearest friends.

When my hands feel crafty again.

When I'm holding a microphone and sing softly.

When I write cards and letters.

When my grandma comes on Sundays.

When having cheese is not a problem anymore.

When letting go is the wisest choice.

When God is with you no matter what.

Don't look at me! :(

Lately, I've been hating to look at myself in the mirror since I got acne problems and feels very frustrating to not being able to find a cure, the reason why this happened to me or why did it even start suddenly out of nothing.

I was looking at some of pictures from a couple of years ago, and I couldn't help to start crying because I wished I could go back to when everything was ok, and my skin was not looking like a giant pepperoni pizza.

I'm really done squeezing all my pimples, I'm done with everything, I'm just sick of this whole situation,  I'm not crazy, there is something really wrong with me... I just don't know what it is.

My hair feels different too, it used to be soft and brown, not this dark... gosh, everything got so messed up somehow.

Mixed feelings

It rains in El Salvador... Then it's sunny... Then it rains again.

There are times when I get these mixed feelings, and I want to imagine that is raining in Baltimore, that is sunny in Missouri, that I get to play in the snow in Washington Dc, that I can feel the breeze in Pennsylvania and finally that I get to go to church in New Jersey.

I wonder what kind of memories will Asia bring for me.

Trip to Taiwan on mid 2013.

This will be VERY interesting and F-U-N!

Food Food Food - Not asking for much

I wonder why in the world does everything has to do with food?

If a birthday... we celebrate eating.

If a family gathering... everybody must eat at least a piece of cake for dessert.

If a meeting... where do you go and discuss something? tell me, what restaurant or cafe?

Today I felt really bad, sadly because of food. I'm not gonna get into more details because of very personal reasons, plus I wouldn't want to get fired.

I had enough of explaining myself to people that I'm allergic to many kinds of food that I rather avoid instead of having "just a little bite".

I love myself, very much. I do respect people, but still, I love me more.

I refuse to eat gluten: Makes me feel dizzy, my eyes see blurry, I get nausea, I get a headache. So, please try to understand that I won't eat any birthday cake, white bread, oat meal or cookie, because: I love myself more than all of that.

I refuse to have sweet things: Regular Sugar/Splenda makes me have really bad cramps and my stomach grows the size of a 4-month pregnant lady, plus the horrible pain that lasts for hours. So, with that being said, I won't have anything with sugar in it.

Plus, in addition to gluten and sugar, there is also: milk, pork (yup, I don't eat ham).

All of the above is true, and makes me sick that people don't believe me or maybe they don't care when I say "I won't eat that". Usually I get angry faces at me because people might think that I'm rejecting their food - well in fact I have to, but it's for a reasonable cause: I don't want to regret it later.

After everything I went through today, I decided one thing that I believe it's gonna help me live the life that I want, and it will fulfill everything with many more pleasant memories:

I decided to stop going to certain social events that would attempt against my well being. That's all. I will no longer attend any sort of event/meeting/gathering that is not hosted by a close friend or relative.

Nobody likes pushy people, but in my case it's much more than that, this time it went too far and I'm done.

Surgery

Today is surgery day for Cookie. I pray to God everything goes well.